That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
me + whiskey = a bad person
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
