Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
