Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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