So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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