My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
