after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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