I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
