At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
