Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

What are we going to do tonight?

(704): View more from North Carolina

What we try to do every night. Take over the world

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(619): View more from California

Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?

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(434): View more from Virginia

You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.

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(360): View more from Washington

You fed me pizza off a sword last night.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

What do I get.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.

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