eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
