we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
