i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
