So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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