Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
