i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
