The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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