so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
