Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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