Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
