He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize