His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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