I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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