I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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