Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My bed smells like the plague
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