Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize