just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
