Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Sober January is a disaster.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
