New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
