I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
