"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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