My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
