Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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