I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
