Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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