so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
