I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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