Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
