this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
