We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
