we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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