Your face is a jimmy john
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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