I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
