I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need water and some morals
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize