we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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