I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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