His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
