summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize