She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
