I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
