Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
