I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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