I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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