READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
