its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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