Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
