She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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