It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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