im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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