I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
